My (not-so-impressive) goals for this weekend

1. Get the invitations ready for the Kiddo's birthday party. It's next weekend, so I hope I can get the friends from school in time. Partially done: need to buy colored ink to print them out for him to bring to school Monday. He helped design them. ^.^DONE!



2. Put together the Christmas list. Pretty much everyone's getting handmade things this year, but how many gifts do I still need to put together? Who am I exchanging with? Do I even know? (and is it OK to hint that I'd LOVE the Aziraphale and Crowley perfumes? And how cool is it that they even EXIST?) Work in progress.....

3. Shave the legs. It's a jungle down there. Sure, no one sees my legs but Z, and he's still in Georgia for another two weeks, but it can't hurt to start some maintenance down there. I'm starting to look a little manly. Done. It's nice to look like a girl again.

4. Make my room no longer look like a yarn shop threw up in a thrift shop. There's some serious straightening that needs to be done. Also, getting the assorted strings organized will help a bit with #2. Not quite done. Spent more time in the Kid's room than mine. Sigh.

5. Work. Yes, that still needs to be done, as well, doesn't it? Alas. To be honest, I did shift a fair amount of my store visits to Friday and Saturday this week so I can spend more time with the kid. But I can still Do It All. A challenge appeared when the Kid needed to go to see the doctor Friday afternoon, but I'm on my way to finish things up as soon as I get my uniform on. Forget that. Done, baby, done!

6. Actually call my brother and have a real conversation with him that doesn't involve either one of us reading out loud from the internet. DONE!!!! He's working overnights now. Weird....

I promise I won't do this too often.

Posting test results is really more of a MySpace or LiveJournal thing, and I try to keep this as different from those experiences as possible. That said, I enjoyed this test.





If I do it again, soundly berate me.

I blame boredom.

Either that, or I have been spending WAY too much time reading and listening to everyone else's stories. Nonetheless. I have actually, for the first time in a long time, actually written a (I think) coherent and amusing story.

I haven't proofread it much; this is basically the second draft, taken from the version I scribbled in my notebook between shopping trips today. It's been renamed twice so far, and I have yet to find a permanent last name for the lead character (The current one is from a spell-check suggestion from her previous name), but.... well, I like it. And I probably won't be too embarrassed to reread it in a month's time. I hope.

Also, there's zombies. You're welcome. And I hope you enjoy.

Thelma Lagerfeld's First Night at Bingo

Thelma Lagerfeld’s 1986 Cadillac pulled into the VFW parking lot fifteen minutes after Bingo night was scheduled to start, as usual. She took her wrap-around driving shades off and tucked them into the sun visor, then checked her helmet of apricot-colored curls in the rearview mirror. She sighed, reached into her oversized tote bag, and pulled out a value-sized can of Aqua Net hair spray. After a few liberal spritzes of the sticky stuff, she stuffed the can back into her bag with her Bingo markers, two packs of Marlboro Reds, her deceased husband’s Zippo, a roll of peppermints, and the other detritus that accumulates in the purses of the geriatric set.

She stepped out of the car and made her way to the side door of the VFW building. She actually hated Bingo. However, her girlfriends Muriel and Sally kept crowing about the men they had met there, and Thelma was not about to miss out on any opportunities. They kept telling her to make an appearance, an unforgettable entrance, and that the gents would be sure to notice. So, gritting her teeth, she went. Muriel and Sally told her to make sure to “dress for the men”, so Thelma was in an ill-advised halter top that strained across her drooping breasts, pale floral Capri pants that accentuated every dimple and ripple in her thighs and rear end, and high-heeled mules that made her teeter when she walked. She felt too exposed and a bit shameless, but the girls did say she needed to lose her shame to get a man, especially at their age. She straightened up as she put her hand on the door.

Judging by the sounds she heard, this was an awfully rousing Bingo night.

Muffled shouts came from behind the door, with a rising note of hysteria. Thelma decided that they must have caught someone cheating, and shame on anyone who would try to cross the Shady Pines ladies on their evening out! They’d get a lecturing they’d not soon forget. However, a particularly bloodcurdling shriek made Thelma’s already-teased hair stand on end. She stood frozen with her hand on the knob for a minute, then smiled. Shameless, right? Time to live up to that. She swung the door open and stepped inside.

Not what she expected.

She was half-anticipating a robbery, or a hostage situation, or even gang violence. Barring that, a catfight over one of the few remaining available men wouldn’t have been shocking. What Thelma saw, though, was her friends and some of the neighbors from the senior village cowering behind the caller’s table, flinging Bingo cards and golf pencils at a group of slow-moving, groaning, slavering zombies. Thelma saw Muriel and Sally holding onto each other and crying, a mass of orthopedic shoes, leopard-print stretch pants, and running mascara. Thelma’s mouth hardened. Muriel and Sally may have talked her into wearing hussy clothes, and they may have unwittingly lead her into an attack by the undead, but that didn’t matter. These zombies were going to get it. No. One. Messes. With. My. Girls.

Thelma flew into action. She whipped out her extra-large can of Aqua Net. She took her lighter in her hand, kissed it for good luck, and sparked it into flame under a spritz of hair spray. A fireball whooshed into life and ignited the nearest zombie. The undead slowly turned and began to lurch her way. She dispatched another four of the stumbling animated corpses with her makeshift flamethrower before she ran out of hair spray. Frustrated, she pocketed her lighter and threw the can to the ground. She glanced over to the table, where the other seniors were standing in awe, their mouths open. However, her girlfriends seemed to be getting it together. Good.

She grunted a signal to them as she grabbed the flag that stood near the door. She stripped the material from the stout metal pole and began to swing it at the zombies, making sure to aim for their heads. A burst of light and heat from one side made her flinch, then grin. Muriel, another Aqua Net devotee, had taken her cue, and was incinerating the unlucky bodies that Thelma knocked down. Thelma risked a glance to her left, and saw Sally swinging at some other zombies with her own artificial leg. The trio worked their magic until the final creature was down.

Thelma breathed a sigh of relief, and patted her hair back into place. She smiled at the frightened but amazed group, still immobilized behind the caller’s table. She had no idea whether this was an isolated incident, or if there was going to be more carnage to follow. But she did know one thing.

If THAT didn’t impress the menfolk, she was absolutely going to have to join the senior choir instead.

Gratitude

So today is Thanksgiving, and before we all munch our way into a tryptophan-induced coma, take a moment to reflect upon the good stuff that keeps us going. Our families, whether we're together or not, and the love they have given and continue to give to us. Our friends, for everything they do for us. For our homes, and for work, which we can be considered lucky to have. Just remember - Life Is Good.

And now, a message from the kid.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Well, he was done faster than I expected.

To you and yours, a safe, fun, holiday. Now go fall asleep watching football.

Another thought for today

When considering unwinding a skein of sock yarn at both ends to find the center point and divide into two center-pull balls: Don't.

I may get untangled someday.

Living up to the page title

I see it's been some time since I posted in here, hasn't it? While much has gone on in real life (Z finally came home for a great weekend! Getting lots of Christmas crap knitted! Saucy text messaging! Introducing the Kid to palindromes! Paying off the car!), there hasn't been much activity here in blogland for me.

So today, you get a bunch of links for other sites that I enjoy. Why? Beats making a sidebar. And you never know when a linkback may occur. Although I do doubt it for some of 'em at least.

Let me get the first two out of the way, because you already know about them, and if you don't then you may well have missed the point of having the internet in the first place, funny pet photos. For cute fuzziness to the nth degree, get your tush over to Cute Overload and prepare to go "awwwwww!" until you drool. For the poorly-spelled caption variety, your source should very well be I Can Has Cheezburger?, home of the so-called LOLcats. Prefer cats saying silly things, but as a cartoon? Also, have a hankering for hoboes? Visit Adam Koford's HOBOTOPIA for his Laugh-Out-Loud Cats comics and other niftiness.

Like laughing at photos of unfortunately dressed celebrities? Sure, we all do. Get your "They wore WHAT?" fix at Go Fug Yourself, and resolve to never wear formal shorts. You're doing us all a favor, believe me. For good photos of the largely non-famous, Bill Wadman's mission to deliver 365 Portraits this year is a visual treat. Like them new-fangled moving pictures? Get a quick fix with Joel (or Mike) and the 'bots with this collection of MST3K Shorts!

Want to knit with a wacky, drunken Southern girl? Why the heck not? At Crazy Aunt Purl's site, you get all that PLUS obsessing over her cats. Sweet. I also get a kick out of the goings-on of soon-to-be-famous writer Max (and other strangeness), who has a penchant for zombies and such. More frightening, but shorter, are the products of the Daily Scares writers, who I am convinced I know from school, and if so, they haven't changed a bit. EDIT: I do know them, and they're talented. Go listen to the stuff. You will love it.

So go click around. I've got nothing here today. I'll come up with something next time. More superheroes or something.

Martian Child

Oh, I want to see this.

My bestest best guy, ever (okay, third after the kiddo and Z), John Cusack, has a new movie starting this weekend. It looks like a cutesy-poo thing about accepting a weird kid for his faults BLAH BLAH BLAH but despite that, I want to see this. Hell, I'd pay money to see this man read out loud from a stack of corporate memos.

I could bring up the "Well, Z looks just like him during the 'Better Off Dead'/'Say Anything' era" discussion that this usually goes into, but let's just say that although there is a similarity, (okay, a HUGE similarity. Even the same height, come to think of it. It's just the hair texture and noses that differ) they're different brands of good-lookin'.

Whatever. You can't find me this weekend, I'm likely to be wallowing in Cusack-induced blissfulness.

Guess what?

Z is coming home for a visit!!!!!


Does it show that I'm excited? ^.^

He'll be in town for Veteran's day weekend, so we'll need some fun for Saturday evening. Maybe Bitting's, or something? We'll figure it out.

Halloween awesomeness

So it was a great, great day. Kiddo's costume was so cute, he charmed the peanut butter cups right off of everyone he met. He was *really* into trick-or-treating this year, too, so we had a LOT of fun making the neighborhood rounds after school. He was a bit rambunctious at the class party; I just hope it was because he was overexcited. I dressed up as well, but I always do, so no big shock there. Our Jack-O-Lanterns are still pretty much intact (yay lack of pumpkin rot!) and I need to snap some pics of them before we toss them out. I was hoping we could carve one with the immortal image of a bear holding a shark, but sadly, I was voted down. Instead, we have a grumpy face and a cheery face.

But yes. Fun ensued. And my kid was cuter than anybody, hoorah!

Corn; it's not just for breakfast anymore!

So let me tell you all about this past Sunday.

Ever since Fall officially arrived, the Kiddo and I have had a bug up our collective butts - we wanted to go to a corn maze! I have enjoyed them since I was a kid, and Kiddo was excited about giving his first one a try. So after checking online, reading reviews, and using the time-honored approach of going to great-Grandma and asking her where to go, we wound up lost in corn on a gorgeous sunny Sunday. It is a huge, fabulous maze, filled with dead ends, spirals, paths that cross over on themselves, and trivia about the towns around the farm, and, of course, corn. Each little signpost also includes a "Corn Hotline" that you can call to get help out of the maze if you get hopelessly lost.

We didn't wuss out, nor did we take the easy way (marked, hilariously enough, with easy Buttons from Staples); the Kid and I (and the Grandma Patrol, who came in hopes of a farmers' market) plugged our way through the maze and made it out on our own, in only half an hour. You should go. It was at Etsch Farm, in Monroe Township. There's a haunted version of the maze on Saturday, the 27th, but my butt will be firmly partying by then.

In other news; who else likes zombies? I am both amused and appalled by them, a sort of a sick fascination. I can't watch zombie movies without getting nightmares, but on the other hand, they are a source of unending sick jokes. New internet pal Max has actually written up an online course - complete with tests! - on Zombie Survival Techniques. Also, noodling about on Facebook has led me, though a series of links, to the Living Dead Girlz dance troupe.

Have fun...

Rock candy, baby!

Since last Friday morning, I have been boiling, re-boiling, sitting, waiting, checking, starting anew, and generally wasting sugar and ruining mason jars.

But it's paid off. Ladies and gentleman, I have finally created some mighty fine and tasty rock candy! Yaaaaaaaaaaay!

It's a lot smaller than I thought it'd be. And more delicate. Oh well. There's another batch ongoing in the kitchen, which seems to be making bigger crystals than the last two, but I think I've boiled the syrup down as far as it'll go and may have to toss it once this one's finished hardening.

But I made candy! This is so cool for me! :-D

Now I can justify owning a candy thermometer! Which I didn't use this time! But next time maybe! Also, I need more food coloring.

Music Video!

Stop whatever you're doing, and spend a few moments to enjoy some Mesopotamish action, animated by Chris Timmons, directed by David Cowles.

I still need to order myself the t-shirt. Someday....

Weird coincidence?

So last night, I had an odd dream about an old high school flame. It was extremely bizarre and largely incomprehensible, but it had something to do with my mother buying his family a dvd player? I think? Anyway, it was so weird to see him in the dream, that I decided to Google him today (he has an unusual last name, so I figured, what the heck, should be easy to find).

Guess what, he was on a reality/cooking TV show fairly recently. Awesome! And got eliminated/left fairly early. Boo! I'm going to go see whether they're running the first season of Hell's Kitchen on my cable's On Demand service, and see if he still sounds/acts the same as he did fifteen or sixteen years ago.

So yeah. That's today's weirdness!

Photos out the wazoo

So, it's about time there was more than Just Plain Text all the time.



From New Hope: the first pic is on the bridge through town, the girls were looking at the ducks in the river, and it was just perfect, the way everyone was lined up. So, "Hey, look over here!" *click* The second one was at our dinner at Wildflowers. The very charming maitre'd snapped that photo for us. I was rocking pigtails for the first time in a long time. :)



Ah, spaces in faces..... the loss of the Kiddo's second tooth was widely celebrated. He lost it just before breakfast, and insisted I take his picture right away! I don't know why he wanted his glasses off for the photo, but he does look adorable anyway. The second was just fun with sprite manipulation. Kiddo and I made avatars of ourselves (modified from a Capcom Cards game, I forget which one, but I had the sprites saved in a misc. folder in my pictures) and printed them out.


And Also - the socks I designed for the Kid are finished, he wore them to school (before the current unseasonal heat wave, wtf with that) and told me they were comfy. Yay! I shall post the pattern.... eventually.

Walking with Dinosaurs. If you get a chance to go, GO. It is simply amazing. Even if you can see the little go-cart thingies that make the dinos move about the arena. Don't care. Still magical. Go go go go gogogo. It's informational, it's scary(ish), it's funny, it's sweet (Baby T-Rex gives many AWWWWW moments), it's great. The Kid and I LOVED it. We also spent far too much on t-shirts and toys, but really, everyone does need a T-Rex head with fiber-optic lights coming out of the top.

That should be enough for now, don't you think?

Do Not Call.... please....

So, we submitted my cell phone number to the National Do Not Call registry this week. I have never received any unsolicited calls on my phone, but we figured we would take that precaution. It takes 31 days for the service to "take", at which point phone solicitors are not allowed to call.

Today - my phone begins ringing at 8:51 with a number I don't recognize. I research the area code online - Los Angeles. Hm. I know it's not my brother, because he would leave a voice mail, and he wouldn't be up that early in the morning in his timezone. Between that time and noon, I get calls from this number 10 times. Four times the first hour, three an hour afterwards. So, I look up the number online, and apparently it's a VERY aggressive telemarketer, with multiple complaints against it. Finally, I pick up, and they're looking for a Nicole somebody. The noise in the background sounds like a busy call center, too. So, I tell them it's the wrong number (I am not, nor are any of my family members, a Nicole.) and hope it's the last I hear from them.

Which is all well and good. But I just got another unknown number on my phone (area code search this time leads to Staten Island) and if this keeps up I may just turn the phone off.

I should also point out that, aside from a few wrong numbers (there's this one person who repeatedly wrong-numbers me. I could kill, especially that one time he called after midnight. You just don't do that.), I have NEVER, until this point, recieved any calls from telemarketers/phone solicitors/etc on this number. They all started when I signed up for the Do Not Call registry.

Kind of makes you wonder.

Here's the update you've been clamoring for

...or have you?

Atlantic City, while fun, was a drain on the wallet - even though I only spent the money I set aside for spending. Perhaps I was too optimistically hoping for a decent win, or to at least break even? Bad planning on my part, at least.

Rusty, my grandfather's cat, passed away on Monday. His cancer, although it was a treatable variety, was too aggressive, and he was in pain. Poor fuzz. The worst part was that this happened the day after Grandpa was admitted into the hospital himself, so he couldn't even be with him. Now he's really upset, and is in no hurry to get back home.

The kid is, as always, awesome. But that's constant enough, isn't it?

I really, REALLY miss Z. I still haven't figured out when I'll be going to Georgia to visit him, and the particulars behind that. But I desperately want to see him. There's certain things that only one person can take care of, you know? ^.^

Tonight, we're going to go to Walking with Dinosaurs, which we're all very excited about seeing. Kiddo especially.

Day got better....

Ok, so once the water was on, I was able to bathe and get to work - on a perfect day for driving! Windows down, stereo turned up, hair in a clip so it doesn't fly into my mouth.... today was an excellent time to be on the road. And it was a short call today, so I was back home in just a few hours.

Tonight - Atlantic City. Woooo!

*grumbles*

The water isn't working.

Let me expand on this. The township is currently rerouting the water in our town from another area while a sewer-clearing project is going on. This is to prevent sewage from backing up into the water lines in our houses. However, the water that comes in now has an unpleasant taste (from the pipes, I assume) and much lower water pressure than we're used to. Also, because the temporary pipes are above ground, if something happens, like some damn fool breaking a pipe by driving over it with his car, and driving away and not doing anything about it until someone else in another house on the street notices the toilet won't flush, for example, and then it takes a while for someone to get over and fix it, and....

Let's just say that if I'm not showering within the hour, someone will pay. I might make people have to smell me.

I'm updating away from home!

It's just that I never do this anywhere other than sitting on my bed, and it's a novelty.

I'm at my friend's house, waiting for her cousin to get here so we can go to a birthday dinner. Yay, birthdays! But the cousin is stuck in traffic, we think. Boo, stuck! It's hard to tell; we can't get through on the cell. So, we wait and I putz around in the office. Indifference!

I'm really just doing this from here so the blog shows up in the visited history and she'll be able to find it again. Because I'm bad about forwarding my address to people.

Ulterior motives, much?

edit - because it's (forty-five minutes past) midnite! The cousin never showed up, so we had a local do at the Cheesecake Factory instead of going all the way to P.F. Chang's. Still fun. They write "Happy Birthday To You" in flavored syrup around your dessert when you're the birthday person, apparently. Too Cute. J enjoyed her (literary-themed) gifts, too.

Rusty

Let's all give big wishes of hope and health for my grandfather's cat, Rusty, who is currently having trouble breathing due to fluid on his lungs and is in the vet's for observation. Rusty is a great cat, extremely friendly, and actually understands what people say to him. He'll actually come to you when you call him! He was a stray, adopted from the same feral community the gave my family pretty much all of their cats for the past five or so years. (Harry, Maggie, Mollie, Lil' Bit, Clover, and Cinnamon.)

It's odd; I noticed that the males are always super-friendly and smart, and the females are shy, elusive, and reluctant to let humans touch them. Discuss.