Hmph.

Other people are required to blog, strictly for my amusement. This decree has been handed down as of today. Hurrah!

Also - started and finished the brilliant Peter and the Starcatchers yesterday. I think I liked him better as Black Stache than his current moniker.....

Two weeks into the new year: a list of totals

Time taken off from work to help with Mom after her surgery: One week

Size of Mom's ovarian cyst: About the size of a grapefruit or a kaiser roll

Do I have a picture of it? Yes, but not sharing online due to disgusting contents.

Weight gained since Jan 1: Four and a half pounds

Where it came from: apparently fat particles fly through the air and attach themselves to me. Also, possibly fast food dependency.

Progress on knitting projects: an inch and a half into a pair of socks, a foot of garter-stripe scarf, a fully formed pattern in my head but a moderate determination to finish outstanding WIPs (and one promised gift!) before I start anything new. Even a Knit-a-long.

Yarn purchases: Two balls of ribbon yarn at dollar store

Yarn I wanted to purchase: More than you can possibly imagine, unless you knit, then yes, THAT much.

Clothes ruined during painting Z's house: one pair jeans, one t-shirt, one bra. Underwear and socks shockingly unscathed.

Has he moved in yet? No.

Speculative date of his moving in: Jan 20

Actual date: May be February at this rate

Days late on car payment: two

Days until I get paid: one

Days until Dad's birthday: two

Gift ideas: zero

Holiday photos uploaded to computer: 69

Times I laughed at that: once

Months I've been low on black ink: two, and I can still just squeak out my work papers every cycle anyway. My faxes are still, apparently, legible.

Resolutions partially accomplished: I am re-enrolling in school this week. With a semester's worth of credits left to earn before my bachelor's, it's stupid to not continue.

Number of cavities at Kid's dental checkup: zero

How proud am I of him? Immeasurable

Days missed using Brain Age 2: one, and seeing the little pixel-doctor's frown of disappointment was hilariously encouraging.

Brain Age, according to the software: 28

Actual Age: 30

Desire to refer to myself as 28: Meh.

Old friends contacting me through Facebook: one

Happy to see this person? HELL, yes. :)

Shock at seeing measurements for bridesmaid dress: None

Still want to change them? Yep. They're kinda huge.

Plans for diet/exercise? None yet

How to lose weight then? Sheer force of will, and/or reliance on stomach viruses. (totally kidding)

How much of this post is serious? Enough.

Brief and to the point

Not words I would usually apply to my writing, but, ehn.

Christmas was wonderful. I have two projects outstanding, but at least those who are getting them know that they're coming, so that's not so bad. The Kid was simply awesome this year - he opened every gift like it was the greatest ever, and although he did have some clear favorites (A to Z Mysteries, Sonic action figures, the gift card that allowed him to buy His Very Own DS), his responses were so over the moon for even mundane gifts. Six, I think, is the Best Age, but then, I say that every year.

I got to cook Christmas dinner this year, for the first time! We had ham, sweet potatoes (with marshmallow, yum!), green bean casserole, and veggie lasagna. And we also had leftovers.

As for my own best gifts? Having my family around me, spending a first Christmas with a good friend, watching the delight in the Kid's face.... oh yeah, and Metalocalypse season one, Danger Mouse, Brain Age 2, and the yearly gift of a Bag of New Underpants.

Gearing up for a difficult week ahead. However, if the first week of the year is going to be rough, then the rest should be okay, right?

Happy New Year if I don't post before then, all. :)

I'M IN!!!!!

I just got my Ravelry invitation! This is something that I've heard about for some time, but finally got around to signing up for it a little while ago. It's.... well, how can I explain it without comparing it to other sites? It's social networking and project ooohing and aahing for knitters and crocheters. And apparently addictive, according to what I've seen.

I'll go have fun on there and see what happens, ne? ^.^

Cookie and Knitting Progress

Finished so far:

About six dozen each of the peanut butter, coconut drop, and mint candy cane cookies, and two and a half dozen gingerbread men (would've been three dozen, but the Kid got the cute idea of having one tray's worth "hold hands"). Finished a scribble lace scarf, made significant headway into a garter stripe scarf and a snowflake lace scarf (it's a scarf year), still need to make the Thing for my Random Internet Gift Exchange (even though I know what I'm getting, I don't want to spoil the surprise for my opposite number.), bake chocolate chip and oatmeal raisin cookies, and I have to finish assembling and felt one very nice handbag.

As for buying stuff - I need gifts mostly for guys and for Z's family. At least I know what I'm getting the kids. Oh, and one more little kid, too, because she's a sweetie. I can do this on the weekend, since I don't get paid until Friday.

Oh, hai, Zoos.

moar funny pictures

I promised good stuff

And good stuff will happen!

So, while I was at work yesterday, Z went out with his sister and brother-in-law and got himself a car! It's a dark grey Accord, and it's bee-you-tee-full!

Also, today he got to scrape snow off of it for the very first time!

I need to get started on my cookie-baking. Only nine more days!

Post 50!

Is this cause for excitement? Couldn't say.

Z is back home. THAT is cause for excitement. Hooray!

Things are.... tense, between the holidays and everything else going on. Superpowers would help immensely.

Here's hoping things go well for the rest of the year, and the times ahead....

Next post will be fun, I'll try and make sure of that. Tonight I feel like being vague and gloomy. Except for the previously mentioned hooray. That was genuine. It's nice to have a few bright spots in the dark, isn't it? I just wish both of my bright spots could've been home this weekend.... but one out of two isn't bad. Actually, there's some more good stuff - my mother doesn't have cancer. Did I mention that before? I may have. Well, that's another bright spot. I guess overall, there's plenty of good to offset the bad, but why does the bad stick so fiercely with us, and the good seem to flicker past?

Little things....

I have nearly all of my holiday knitting done.... just six projects left, three of which are already on the needles! Yay! I still have shopping to do (mostly for the menfolk and for Z's family) but it's nice to see how much is finished.

I love these two pictures:


The Kid's party is today! We finished making goody bags last night, full of fun little trinkety things. I hope he has a blast! He's so big now; I can't believe my baby is six tomorrow!

Also, my new deodorant makes my armpits smell like Piña Coladas.

It's cold.

Yes. It's cold.

After work, I spent some time tagging some of the pictures in my flickr photostream, knitted a couple of rows of a lace pattern, and got to talk on the phone with the Kid. While my day hasn't improved, hearing his little voice always makes me smile. I even got to sing him "our song" like I usually do before he goes to sleep.

Can't wait for both of my guys to be back home.

Some days are up

And some days are down.

This is a down day.

Tomorrow, my mother is scheduled for a CT scan to find out whether the growth in her abdomen is cancerous, or just another weird fibroid like the ones she's had on and off throughout her life, and I don't know how to deal with it either way. She'll need surgery no matter what, and it's not going to be easy or fun over here for a while. I'm going through some baloney with the Kid's father, and our court date is fast approaching. The little guy's birthday is soon, too, and his party's this weekend, and I still need to pick up some last-minute party goodies, bake a cake, and make goodies to bring to school for the big day itself. And Christmas - don't talk to me about Christmas! If I had another month, I'd be close to being ready on time. I'm wound up emotionally and hormonally from an early period this month. I need to get Z's bed in place, at least, for when he gets home next week. (And he's carrying his own burdens lately!) Laundry must get done. Work needs to be done. I can;t find a stack of very important paperwork, which I may have purged in my recent "Let's Get Rid Of The Extra Paper So That The Desk Isn't A Fire Hazard" binge. And to be honest, what I want to do is just sit down and knit something - anything - to recenter myself.

Yarn as therapy? I hope.

I'm so damn crafty

So, I was going through my son's dresser, cleaning out the too-small shirts to make room for new winter stuff, and I came across a lotta buncha (okay, three) Otakon tee shirts that I bought for him in the years that he was too young to go. They're cute, and he likes them, but he can't wear them and, for instance, breathe at the same time, so I got busy.

I made them into pillows.

I cut around the graphics on the shirts, resulting in four good-sized pictures (one had front and back images, the others were backs-only.), dragged out the sewing machine, and by the time he was back from his dad's place, he had two new cuddle cushions.

Check 'em out!

Work in Progress

An iPod sock. Oh yeah! Like everyone and their mom hasn't tried to make one of these!

You do it too, so I'm not alone. It'll fit a nano. When I figure out the larger versions, I'll be sure to add them in. ^.^

You need:
small amount of (self striping, naturally) sock yarn.
Three size 1 dpns
one size 2 or 3 dpn
one small button
thread to match/clash with your sock yarn & button
size d crochet hook

Gauge - 8 st/inch. row gauge not really important.

Dimensions: while laid flat, 2 inches wide by about three-and-a-quarter inches or so high.

Cast on 32 stitches on your larger needle, and VERY CAREFULLY slip every other stitch onto two separate dpns. In other words, you're taking the cast-on stitches from the big needle, and you slip the first onto one smaller needle, the second onto another smaller needle, the third onto the first smaller needle, etc., until all stitches have been transferred.

Now, start working in the round! Knit around and around in plain old boring stockinette until the sock is as tall as your nano. Three and a half inches, if you're keeping track. Knit another round or three to make it pull comfortably over the top, then bind off on one needle only.

Work flat on second needle for about an inch, inch and a half, then bind off (You may want to work this in seed stitch or some other non-rolling stitch, or block the hell out of it). With the crochet hook, chain a few stitches to make a loop, and attach to the center of the flap. Sew a button on the sock, just where the loop on the flap would reach to, and make sure the loop fits over the button. I cannot stress this enough, as the button and loop should be working in total effing harmony.

That's all. Go weave in your ends. You're done. You can block if you want to, but you probably don't.

My (not-so-impressive) goals for this weekend

1. Get the invitations ready for the Kiddo's birthday party. It's next weekend, so I hope I can get the friends from school in time. Partially done: need to buy colored ink to print them out for him to bring to school Monday. He helped design them. ^.^DONE!



2. Put together the Christmas list. Pretty much everyone's getting handmade things this year, but how many gifts do I still need to put together? Who am I exchanging with? Do I even know? (and is it OK to hint that I'd LOVE the Aziraphale and Crowley perfumes? And how cool is it that they even EXIST?) Work in progress.....

3. Shave the legs. It's a jungle down there. Sure, no one sees my legs but Z, and he's still in Georgia for another two weeks, but it can't hurt to start some maintenance down there. I'm starting to look a little manly. Done. It's nice to look like a girl again.

4. Make my room no longer look like a yarn shop threw up in a thrift shop. There's some serious straightening that needs to be done. Also, getting the assorted strings organized will help a bit with #2. Not quite done. Spent more time in the Kid's room than mine. Sigh.

5. Work. Yes, that still needs to be done, as well, doesn't it? Alas. To be honest, I did shift a fair amount of my store visits to Friday and Saturday this week so I can spend more time with the kid. But I can still Do It All. A challenge appeared when the Kid needed to go to see the doctor Friday afternoon, but I'm on my way to finish things up as soon as I get my uniform on. Forget that. Done, baby, done!

6. Actually call my brother and have a real conversation with him that doesn't involve either one of us reading out loud from the internet. DONE!!!! He's working overnights now. Weird....

I promise I won't do this too often.

Posting test results is really more of a MySpace or LiveJournal thing, and I try to keep this as different from those experiences as possible. That said, I enjoyed this test.





If I do it again, soundly berate me.

I blame boredom.

Either that, or I have been spending WAY too much time reading and listening to everyone else's stories. Nonetheless. I have actually, for the first time in a long time, actually written a (I think) coherent and amusing story.

I haven't proofread it much; this is basically the second draft, taken from the version I scribbled in my notebook between shopping trips today. It's been renamed twice so far, and I have yet to find a permanent last name for the lead character (The current one is from a spell-check suggestion from her previous name), but.... well, I like it. And I probably won't be too embarrassed to reread it in a month's time. I hope.

Also, there's zombies. You're welcome. And I hope you enjoy.

Thelma Lagerfeld's First Night at Bingo

Thelma Lagerfeld’s 1986 Cadillac pulled into the VFW parking lot fifteen minutes after Bingo night was scheduled to start, as usual. She took her wrap-around driving shades off and tucked them into the sun visor, then checked her helmet of apricot-colored curls in the rearview mirror. She sighed, reached into her oversized tote bag, and pulled out a value-sized can of Aqua Net hair spray. After a few liberal spritzes of the sticky stuff, she stuffed the can back into her bag with her Bingo markers, two packs of Marlboro Reds, her deceased husband’s Zippo, a roll of peppermints, and the other detritus that accumulates in the purses of the geriatric set.

She stepped out of the car and made her way to the side door of the VFW building. She actually hated Bingo. However, her girlfriends Muriel and Sally kept crowing about the men they had met there, and Thelma was not about to miss out on any opportunities. They kept telling her to make an appearance, an unforgettable entrance, and that the gents would be sure to notice. So, gritting her teeth, she went. Muriel and Sally told her to make sure to “dress for the men”, so Thelma was in an ill-advised halter top that strained across her drooping breasts, pale floral Capri pants that accentuated every dimple and ripple in her thighs and rear end, and high-heeled mules that made her teeter when she walked. She felt too exposed and a bit shameless, but the girls did say she needed to lose her shame to get a man, especially at their age. She straightened up as she put her hand on the door.

Judging by the sounds she heard, this was an awfully rousing Bingo night.

Muffled shouts came from behind the door, with a rising note of hysteria. Thelma decided that they must have caught someone cheating, and shame on anyone who would try to cross the Shady Pines ladies on their evening out! They’d get a lecturing they’d not soon forget. However, a particularly bloodcurdling shriek made Thelma’s already-teased hair stand on end. She stood frozen with her hand on the knob for a minute, then smiled. Shameless, right? Time to live up to that. She swung the door open and stepped inside.

Not what she expected.

She was half-anticipating a robbery, or a hostage situation, or even gang violence. Barring that, a catfight over one of the few remaining available men wouldn’t have been shocking. What Thelma saw, though, was her friends and some of the neighbors from the senior village cowering behind the caller’s table, flinging Bingo cards and golf pencils at a group of slow-moving, groaning, slavering zombies. Thelma saw Muriel and Sally holding onto each other and crying, a mass of orthopedic shoes, leopard-print stretch pants, and running mascara. Thelma’s mouth hardened. Muriel and Sally may have talked her into wearing hussy clothes, and they may have unwittingly lead her into an attack by the undead, but that didn’t matter. These zombies were going to get it. No. One. Messes. With. My. Girls.

Thelma flew into action. She whipped out her extra-large can of Aqua Net. She took her lighter in her hand, kissed it for good luck, and sparked it into flame under a spritz of hair spray. A fireball whooshed into life and ignited the nearest zombie. The undead slowly turned and began to lurch her way. She dispatched another four of the stumbling animated corpses with her makeshift flamethrower before she ran out of hair spray. Frustrated, she pocketed her lighter and threw the can to the ground. She glanced over to the table, where the other seniors were standing in awe, their mouths open. However, her girlfriends seemed to be getting it together. Good.

She grunted a signal to them as she grabbed the flag that stood near the door. She stripped the material from the stout metal pole and began to swing it at the zombies, making sure to aim for their heads. A burst of light and heat from one side made her flinch, then grin. Muriel, another Aqua Net devotee, had taken her cue, and was incinerating the unlucky bodies that Thelma knocked down. Thelma risked a glance to her left, and saw Sally swinging at some other zombies with her own artificial leg. The trio worked their magic until the final creature was down.

Thelma breathed a sigh of relief, and patted her hair back into place. She smiled at the frightened but amazed group, still immobilized behind the caller’s table. She had no idea whether this was an isolated incident, or if there was going to be more carnage to follow. But she did know one thing.

If THAT didn’t impress the menfolk, she was absolutely going to have to join the senior choir instead.

Gratitude

So today is Thanksgiving, and before we all munch our way into a tryptophan-induced coma, take a moment to reflect upon the good stuff that keeps us going. Our families, whether we're together or not, and the love they have given and continue to give to us. Our friends, for everything they do for us. For our homes, and for work, which we can be considered lucky to have. Just remember - Life Is Good.

And now, a message from the kid.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Well, he was done faster than I expected.

To you and yours, a safe, fun, holiday. Now go fall asleep watching football.

Another thought for today

When considering unwinding a skein of sock yarn at both ends to find the center point and divide into two center-pull balls: Don't.

I may get untangled someday.

Living up to the page title

I see it's been some time since I posted in here, hasn't it? While much has gone on in real life (Z finally came home for a great weekend! Getting lots of Christmas crap knitted! Saucy text messaging! Introducing the Kid to palindromes! Paying off the car!), there hasn't been much activity here in blogland for me.

So today, you get a bunch of links for other sites that I enjoy. Why? Beats making a sidebar. And you never know when a linkback may occur. Although I do doubt it for some of 'em at least.

Let me get the first two out of the way, because you already know about them, and if you don't then you may well have missed the point of having the internet in the first place, funny pet photos. For cute fuzziness to the nth degree, get your tush over to Cute Overload and prepare to go "awwwwww!" until you drool. For the poorly-spelled caption variety, your source should very well be I Can Has Cheezburger?, home of the so-called LOLcats. Prefer cats saying silly things, but as a cartoon? Also, have a hankering for hoboes? Visit Adam Koford's HOBOTOPIA for his Laugh-Out-Loud Cats comics and other niftiness.

Like laughing at photos of unfortunately dressed celebrities? Sure, we all do. Get your "They wore WHAT?" fix at Go Fug Yourself, and resolve to never wear formal shorts. You're doing us all a favor, believe me. For good photos of the largely non-famous, Bill Wadman's mission to deliver 365 Portraits this year is a visual treat. Like them new-fangled moving pictures? Get a quick fix with Joel (or Mike) and the 'bots with this collection of MST3K Shorts!

Want to knit with a wacky, drunken Southern girl? Why the heck not? At Crazy Aunt Purl's site, you get all that PLUS obsessing over her cats. Sweet. I also get a kick out of the goings-on of soon-to-be-famous writer Max (and other strangeness), who has a penchant for zombies and such. More frightening, but shorter, are the products of the Daily Scares writers, who I am convinced I know from school, and if so, they haven't changed a bit. EDIT: I do know them, and they're talented. Go listen to the stuff. You will love it.

So go click around. I've got nothing here today. I'll come up with something next time. More superheroes or something.

Martian Child

Oh, I want to see this.

My bestest best guy, ever (okay, third after the kiddo and Z), John Cusack, has a new movie starting this weekend. It looks like a cutesy-poo thing about accepting a weird kid for his faults BLAH BLAH BLAH but despite that, I want to see this. Hell, I'd pay money to see this man read out loud from a stack of corporate memos.

I could bring up the "Well, Z looks just like him during the 'Better Off Dead'/'Say Anything' era" discussion that this usually goes into, but let's just say that although there is a similarity, (okay, a HUGE similarity. Even the same height, come to think of it. It's just the hair texture and noses that differ) they're different brands of good-lookin'.

Whatever. You can't find me this weekend, I'm likely to be wallowing in Cusack-induced blissfulness.

Guess what?

Z is coming home for a visit!!!!!


Does it show that I'm excited? ^.^

He'll be in town for Veteran's day weekend, so we'll need some fun for Saturday evening. Maybe Bitting's, or something? We'll figure it out.